Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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