I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my poor anus
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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