I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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