Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
