I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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