Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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