okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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