My boss' voice literally gives me gas
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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