I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i now understand why vodka
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
