I think I am morally bankrupt
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
