Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
