Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
