You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
