You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
