and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
