I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
