so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
50% drunk capacity currently
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
