You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The struggles of a small town man whore
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
