Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
