there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
