Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
