so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
