I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
