To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
