worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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