We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
