I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
