Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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