have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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