im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize