I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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