You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
