We won't sleep together?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Randomize
