Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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