made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
