it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
