She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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