..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
