Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
