HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
