Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
