weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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