I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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