One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
