Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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