I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
