I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
