For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
