Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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