I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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