He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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