I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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